Eat Your Heart Out!

Love is a word that brings to mind roses and chocolates and cupids and God and France and everything that warms the cockles of our heart. We feel truly alive in the world with love because we all know that all the world loves a lover. Is not love all we need? But what is love really? One would hope it's not a cliche. Yet, this is what love has become, some vague concept based on symbols and beliefs created from superficial ideals. Love has become an emotional blind, a cataract that prevents us from seeing the reality of our relationships. There are several fallacies of love: manipulative love, lustful love and conditional (dependency) love. These are experienced because of a confusion in understanding the difference between true love and false love.

Manipulative love is the weaponization of love. It's wielding love like a knife and piercing another's heart with the intention of harming through the use of guilt, pity and fear. I hate it when you go out with your friends because I feel as if you love your friends more than me. I hate it when you don't pay as much attention to me as I think you should because it makes me feel as if you don't love me. I hate it if you don't dote on me because if I don't consume all of your affection then I'm going to leave you. This type of love inevitably leads to hatred, resentment and anger and is not love at all. How can someone love if his or her freewill is encroached upon by his or her lover? It can't because the manipulation of love is the undoing of love.

Lustful love, misinterpreted as love, turns a person into lust's conquered underling, dissolving the will and setting the person forth in high hopes of seducing the beautiful one with absolute disregard for personality, willpower and spirit. Lustful love is simply lust seeping out of your urethra or, as the case might be, your lubricated vaginal walls dripping with lustful anticipation. Lustful love is wanting to be in love and fantasizing its reality. The need to lust after love is so great in some people that they will abuse their imagination into making fictional feelings for a fictional relationship that always ends in a bad story about a person whom you can't help but look upon pathetically. But when we want, we want, and all non-aesthetically damaging blemishes fade to captivating eyes, pearly-white smiles and amusing stories. Worst of all, these lustful crimes of integrity and wisdom are not made accidentally or unknowingly. They are made in full knowledge, with absolute awareness. There's love in lust, but it is as short as an orgasm.

Maybe you meet that person, however, who offers you something more. Someone whose spirit is so complementary to your own that life becomes something wondrous. That somehow both of you make the world a better place for the other without trying. Lust is not gone, but it is surrounded by its bigger brothers such as compassion, friendship and experience. And maybe you think you have found what some never do. The real thing. Love. Ha, you think. I've found the buried treasure; I've found the holy grail; I've found the center of the universe.

You may have found true love but chances are you didn't. In all probability you have found a false love. Your love is too selfish to be the real thing, too one sided, too not like love. Now you're stuck always looking for validation. If you ignore me, I feel bad because I'm dependent upon your love. Your love makes me feel valid as a human being; it gives me my humanness and without it, I cease to exist as a human. I can't live without out you because I will not be able to be gratified by having sex with you. Your lover has become a material possession to you, and love has become conditional. If you dont give me love than I won't give you any either.

Love cannot be conditional because if it was it wouldn't be love. Pure love, true love, can only be given and never taken away. True Love loves without asking for anything in return. True Love is what we all want but rarely ever receive. Only a few understand this and fewer can achieve it. Anything less is a humorless farce.Love? What is love?

Love as a concept is fantasy. Love in practice is pretending. Love actualized is the shaft parting the labia minora, the pubic bone massaging the clitoris while the glans chafes the vaginal walls, stimulating the meatus to stretch wide open and say, "I love you."